King and Lionheart
by clemmumford
Summary: Two years after Morgause's attempted coup of Camelot, Merlin and Arthur will face their toughest challenge yet when the sorceress Morgana resumes plotting Arthur's defeat. As the line between allies and adversaries is tested, and the hope for a united Albion is threatened, Arthur and Merlin must put their trust in each other.
1. Confines of Fear (Ep101)

**Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin or any of the characters.**

In the earliest hours of Sunday morning certain foreign sounds impeded on the usual nightly noises - the cool hum of crickets, the dry settling of the woods, the far-off rumble of carts crossing the drawbridge, and the deep - receding - peel of the church bell.

That morning a tapping sound woke Arthur. The soft padding of footsteps passing outside his bedroom door followed a moment later by the harsh muttering of voices. Arthur sat up and swung his feet over the side of the bed. Noiselessly he walked over and stopped at the door. He could hear voices, arguing, from the other side. He hesitated, listening.

"Is that really necessary? Leon said.

"He has a right to know the truth, Leon," Gwaine said.

"You know how - fond - he is of the boy," Leon said hesitating over the word as if it tasted bad in his mouth. "The truth will only upset him."

"He needs to know," Gwaine said.

"Why can't we simply tell him that we scoured the forest and found no sign of the boy, surely that is enough?" Leon said.

"Do you really think Arthur will except that? That he'll accept Merlin's -" Gwaine's voice caught. Arthur heard his body sink against the door. "That Merlin is gone," Gwaine barely spoke the words. They trembled miraculously into the air and sent Arthur sinking to his knees.

A memory pushed in obtrusively:

 _Arthur saw the first mercenary out of the corner of his eye. A broad shoulder, blocky faced Saxon appeared, a hundred yards from where Arthur was standing, from behind a ring of moss-covered stones. Arthur swung Merlin off his shoulder and onto the ground. Pulled his sword from its scabbard. And charged the Saxon._

 _Their swords meet overhead with a sharp, metallic clang. The Saxon lunged, Arthur parried. The ravine was narrow and craggy bound on either side by steep, rocky slopes which limited Arthur's range of motion._

 _The Saxon lunged, again, missing Arthur to the left. Arthur sidestepped a clumsily thrown left hook and popped his elbow up into_ the Saxon's _face, breaking his nose in a rush of blood that sent the Saxon howling to the ground._

 _Arthur swung around, toward Merlin, just in time to see another Saxon come running past Merlin and try to knock Arthur's head off with a broadsword. Arthur ducked. The sword whooshed over his head and stuck fast in the rock. Arthur swung his sword in an upward arc cleaving a bloody gash through_ the Saxon's _ribs and chest cavity._

 _The Saxon fell back, gurgling, and kicking just as the Saxon-with-the-Broken-Nose shoved Arthur hard from behind. Arthur lurched. It was then he felt the ground shake. A tremor like the exhalation of a held breath: soft and timid._

 _He hardly had time to notice it before a sharp downstroke from behind almost unseated his arm from his body. Arthur flattened himself against the ravine as the sword whistled past and thudded into the ground. Arthur reached out and grabbed the Saxon by the shoulder through_ the Saxon's _chest and out his back._

 _Arthur heard a chorus of yells from behind. Footsteps trampling the dry earth. He spun around, his hand brushing the ravine wall, as his sword drooped momentarily with exhaustion. Around a corner, in the ravine, four more Saxons charged, past Merlin, straight at Arthur._

 _Then Arthur felt the ground shake again stronger this time, a gentle bump, that knocked him sideways. Overhead a deafening roar sent lose a cascade of rocks and rubble that blocked the ravine. Arthur on one side. The Saxons and Merlin on the other._

"I am sorry about Merlin - " Leon's voice drug Arthur back to the present. He leaned against the door, panting, momentarily unbalanced. " - but Arthur is King, we can not risk losing him for the benefit of a serving boy."

"Because his life is worthless," Gwaine said darkly.

"No, because it is worth less than Arthur's."

Arthur ground his teeth feeling suddenly sick. Another memory pushed unwanted into focus.

 _Arthur was walking with Uther down the portico while up in Constans Tower, in Gaius's chambers, Merlin was slowly succumbing to the Mortaues poison he had knowingly drunk for Arthur._

 _"Damn it, Arthur, what is the point of having a food taster, if you're just going to get yourself killed anyway?" Uther spat through his teeth._

 _"I can save him," Arthur insisted._

 _Uther stopped walking, the tension knotting in his shoulders, but when he spoke his voice was soft full of concern. "Arthur, you are my only son I can not risk losing you for the sake of some serving boy?"_

 _"Oh because his life is worthless," Arthur said letting a little heat edge his voice. His fists gripped white-knuckled against his legs as anger rushed in a hot current under his skin. The muscles of his arms knotting under the thin material of his shirt._

 _"No, because his life is worth less than yours," Uther said waspishly._

 _"I trust Merlin more than anyone," Arthur said with forced calm._

 _Uther made a noise of disbelief. "Arthur, remember what I have told you, you and you alone must rule Camelot."_

 _"I'd rather not rule at all than rule alone," Arthur said._

 _"Don't be a child Arthur," Uther said. "This boy will not be the last to die on your behalf. I suggest you get used to it."_

 _"I can save him," Arthur said stubbornly._

 _"No."_

 _"Why not!" Arthur said his voice rising._

 _"Because one day I will be dead," Uther snapped. His teeth bared as he seemed to expand. Swelling in his anger to fill the corridor. His eyes steely in their resolve. "And Camelot will need a King. I will not let you jeopardize the future of this kingdom for a serving boy."_

 _"He saved my life," Arthur said. " I can't stand by and watch him die."_

 _"Then don't look," Uther said._

Arthur heard the sharp rap of knuckles against the door. Disoriented he pulled himself up onto his feet. "Arthur," Gwaine called knocking again. Arthur grabbed the door clumsily and pushed it open.

Gwaine was standing directly in front of him. He looked ill and exhausted his long athletic frame bunched up like gathered fabric, tense and anticipatory. To Gwaine's right was Leon his bronze curls swept back from his face. His lips pressed into a thin, anxious line as he fiddled with something in his gloved hands.

"Arthur. " Gwaine said stepping back in surprise as Arthur leaned, pale and trembling, out of the door.

"Are you going to tell me, what you found?" Arthur asked. He looked up and saw Gwaine and Leon exchange a significant look. "I'm sorry Arthur," Leon said holding out the thing in his hand. Arthur took it, feeling the rough material slide between his fingers, as he realized with all the force of having been punched in the stomach that this was Merlin's neckerchief. And that it was covered in dried blood.

"There was no sign of Merlin, nothing but that, and enough blood -" Leon stopped as Gwaine kicked him sharply.

"He was alive - " Arthur said. "The last I saw of him, he was alive."

After a long, tense moment of silence, Gwaine asked, "Arthur are you alright?"

His voice seemed to echo down as if Arthur were hearing it from a far way off. Merlin was dead. He couldn't be - it couldn't be. This was a nightmare. Arthur just need to wake up - he had to wake up.

The world grew soft around the edges. Arthur could hear his bones straining under the loss of Merlin. He tried sucking in a breath but the air didn't seem to make it past his lips. It felt like his head was going to explode. There was a pressure building behind his eyes. Gwaine was speaking again but the sound winked out. Arthur could not hear anything over the sudden noise that filled his head. The sound was him breaking.

Arthur pushed past Gwaine and ran up the corridor. A powerful sob building in his chest with enough pressure to break his ribs from the inside out. He banged into the first room he came to. A small, under furnished solars. The furniture covered in grey, dusty sheets and sunlight washing through the mullioned windows.

Arthur slammed the door shut and sank down against it. Pressing his palms to the floor he leaned over and began to cry with all the force of a person vomiting on all fours.


	2. Confines of Fear (Ep102)

**I want to thank everyone that favourited, followed, and reviewed my last update!**

Every movement Arthur made was uncertain as if he wasn't sure his hands and feet would actually make contact with what they touched. Everything appeared muted and soft the way a dream feels when you can't quite open your eyes to look at it.

Merlin had been the fiery thing at the centre of Arthur's universe: constant and warm. In all the things they had faced Arthur had never once worried about Merlin dying. Now his absence had opened an unfillable hole right in the centre of Arthur's chest. It swallowed all the colour and warmth out of the world until there was just a heavy, bone-deep-chill.

Arthur felt as separate from the people he passed as though they were a different species. His world had skidded to a bone-jarring halt. Frozen in a single moment of terror that squeezed everything else out of Arthur's head.

 _Merlin laying on the ground. The Saxons rushing from around a corner in the ravine. The gentle bump of the ground moving beneath Arthur's feet. The building thunder of rocks coming loose from the ravine face. A bloom of panic that squeezed all of the air out of his lungs in a single, strangled scream. The last sight of Merlin collapsing exhausted and panting his burning eyes fading to a washed out blue as the rocks sealed the ravine._

Someone bumped into Arthur. Their shoulder shoving into his chest. Arthur stumbled, unsteadied, as he felt their hands grasp onto his arms. Sound returning to the world in a single urgent voice. "My lord, are you well?"

Arthur looked down and found a broad-shouldered, serving girl standing in front of him. The basket of laundry she had been carrying upset at her feet. "Yes, I'm sorry - I - I wasn't looking," Arthur said sounding as if he had a head cold.

The serving girl hesitated for a moment, her rough hands still clasped around Arthur's arms, then she stood up on her toes and kissed Arthur on the cheek. "I am so sorry for you. Merlin was one of the good ones," she whispered.

Arthur felt tears prick his eyes. "Where you and Merlin close?" he asked.

"No," the serving girl said smiling softly. "He was my bonne étoile.

He came by on an errand-" she said as she bent down and collected the laundry basket. "-for Gaius, just before last Christmas."

"I am a single mother, my lord, I work as a housemaid for Lady Bennett but money is tight especially with four babies at home to feed. Last winter my eldest Jack got influenza. I had no one to look after the children while I was at work or to nurse Jack, sick as he was, but when Merlin came over with the medicine he insisted on staying. Can you believe it, a complete stranger, and he dropped everything without a second thought to help."

Arthur remembered that. Merlin had disappeared without so much as a word four days before Christmas leaving Arthur to organize the final touches for the Yule Ball with George who while a very good servant had an absolutely appalling personality.

Then, on Christmas Eve, without so much as an apology or explanation, Merlin had just shown back up looking strangely thin and exhausted. Arthur had been so furious that that night instead of going to the Yule Ball Arthur had sent Merlin to the chapel infirmary to scrub bedpans.

How could Arthur have gotten it so wrong? Merlin couldn't help but make other people's lives easier and yet all these years he never sought any credit.

All Merlin had done since arriving in Camelot was fight for him. Arthur wondered how many times Merlin had saved his life? He had fought witches, and bandits and dragons; been punched, poisoned, and nearly killed on any number of occasions protecting Arthur and Camelot.

Meanwhile, Arthur carried on like Merlin was nothing more than a serving boy. He snipped at Merlin for being insolent and lazy. Teased him for sport. Knocked him around a little too rough to be playing. And he had never missed an opportunity to complain of Merlin's numerous faults and shortcomings out loud, to his face.

Arthur felt his grief burnout in a lingering heat of shame. Arthur had thought he could live without Merlin until the moment he had realized it it wouldn't be any kind of life. That life without Merlin was like a world without air.

"I'll miss Merlin," A voice teased causing Arthur to spin around. At the far end of the portico, near the barrack rooms, two figures emerged. "I will," Sir Kay insisted. "He was always good for a laugh."

"I remember when Uther first made Merlin Arthur's manservant," Leon said, smiling. He was leaning against the portico wall still dressed in his travelling clothes looking creased and careworn despite the easy slope of his posture. "Arthur was always complaining about his incessant humming - " Arthur's hands curled into fists. Anger blooming in a hot flush across his cheeks. "-not to mention, " Leon continued laughing softly, "that he had the most appalling manners."

"What can you expect from a yokel?" Kay said.

Arthur dug his nails into the palm of his hands until the skin broke. His stomach twisting so tight he thought he would be sick. "Well, after all these years it looks like Merlin has finally done something right," Leon said stretching his arms lazily above his head. Arthur didn't realize he had moved until he was lifting Leon off the ground and slamming him against the wall. Leon looked at Arthur in stunned disbelief.

"How dare you!" Arthur screamed.

Kay grabbed Arthur and drug him back on heels. "Arthur, enough! What on earth has gotten into you?"

"I told you, Kay," Leon said, breathlessly. "Arthur has caught feelings for the help."

Arthur lunged. He knocked his fist into Leon with enough force to split his own knuckles on Leon's teeth. It didn't help anything but it hurt and somehow that was better. Kay wrapped his arm around Arthur's neck dragging him back sputtering before he could hit Leon again.

"Arthur, calm down, I was only joking," Leon said as he leaned against the wall panting. Arthur stood there for a moment trying to catch his breath. His whole body shaking. His heart seemed to be expanding, filling his chest, so it was hard to draw a full breath.

"That's what you do isn't it Leon," Arthur said shaking Kay's lingering hand off his shoulder. "You only joke, so that makes it okay?"

"Makes what okay, Arthur?" Leon asked as he wiped the blood from his lip across the back of his hand. A shadow of annoyance creasing his brow.

"Have you ever wondered why you can't keep a manservant for longer than a year? You torment them! You're always tossing around those backhand complaints. Knocking them around a little too rough to be playing."

"Where do you get off acting so high and mighty, huh?" Leon snarled his back razor straight and that vein pulsing in his neck. "Up until a month ago, you and I were no different. You treated Merlin just the same."

"You say that as if it makes it okay!" Arthur said.

"It's not good or bad Arthur, it's just what it is."

"Just because you pay them doesn't make them yours to break," Arthur said shoving Leon back.

"Look, Arthur," Leon said his hands brushing Arthur's arms. "No, Leon," Arthur said pushing him back. "For the first time, I am seeing things exactly right. Gwaine was right. Nobility is defined by what you do, Leon. Not by who you are. And Leon you - me - we're the worst of humanity. "

"Arthur, come on," Leon said with a nervous laugh.

Arthur pushed past Kay, brushing tears out of his eyes, as he walked into the courtyard. He came up short at the sight of the stable boy standing in the courtyard, under the lengthening shadow of the equestrian statue with Arthur's horse. His hands gloved against the early morning chill as he tightened the fastening on the saddle.

"What are you doing here?" Arthur asked as he approached.

"You said to have him ready at seven, my lord," the stable boy said looking puzzled. "Did I get it wrong?" A piece of this morning suddenly fell back into Arthur's head. "No, you didn't," Arthur said as he took the reins, thanking the stable boy who left.

"You are not going back out there," Leon said appearing behind Arthur looking dangerous, his eyes narrowed and mouth pressed into a thin line.

"You're not going to change my mind!" Arthur said snapping the stirrup leather tight.

"Who knows if the mercenaries have even left the forest."

"I have to at least try. "

"He's dead Arthur," Leon said his voicing rising as he whipped Arthur around to face him. "I'm sorry but you're just going to have to accept that."

"I can't," Arthur said. He grabbed the saddle horn and moved to swing up into the saddle but Leon pulled him sharply back down. "Arthur this is ridiculous," he snapped.

"What are you two girls yelling about?" Gwaine said appearing suddenly from across the courtyard. He looked exhausted. His skin pallid and creased with dark circles under his eyes. Leon fixed Gwaine with a fierce, blazing look giving up for a moment wrestling Arthur off his horse.

"I told you! I told you he wouldn't let it go? Arthur is insisting on going back to the Valley of the Fallen Kings to look for Merlin, which I told him was a really stupid and reckless thing to do," Leon said.

"Gwaine, he might be dead - " Arthur said ignoring the small noise of disbelief Leon made behind him. " - but what if that wasn't even his blood?" Arthur knew it was a stupid, flimsy hope. But sometimes hope was all you had.

"Gwaine, don't you see how ridiculous this is," Leon said pushing past Arthur to stand in front of Gwaine. It was odd to see Leon reach out to Gwaine for help since they were so often at odds in just about everything.

But Arthur knew that Leon was grasping at the wrong straw. The only person in Camelot who might love Merlin more than Arthur was Gwaine. If there was even a chance that Merlin was alive Gwaine would tear the forest to its roots looking for him.

"I'll meet you at the drawbridge in ten minutes," Gwaine said to Arthur before walking off. Arthur grabbed the horn, a second time, and felt Leon's hand hard on his arm pulling Arthur around to face him. "You would risk your kingship. Your kingdom for a serving boy!"

"Without him, they're worth nothing to me," Arthur said pushing Leon out of the way.


	3. Confines of Fear (Ep103)

Arthur heard Merlin enter. He made very little noise except the rough hum of his voice and the uneven tread of his feet. "You're late," Arthur said without looking up from the letter he was finishing.

"I can't be!" Merlin exclaimed. "I left in plenty of time."

Arthur looked up at him. Merlin had stopped, holding the door half-open with his shoulder, as he looked at Arthur aghast.

"Well, then - " Arthur said shrugging his shoulders as he stood up " - you must have gotten lost?" He smiled but Merlin continued to look upset.

"What is it?" Arthur asked.

"Nothing," Merlin said still looking punch drunk. He was shaking his head slowly like a dog trying to rid its ears of water. He walked over, letting the door close, and set the tray down on the table.

"Merlin, is something the matter?" Arthur asked.

"No," Merlin said. Arthur gave him a significant look as Merlin amended slowly, "It's just the second odd thing that's happened this morning, that's all."

"What was the first?" Arthur asked.

"When I got to the kitchens this morning, to pick up your breakfast, the cook insisted that she had already given it to me. She had to have a kitchen maid make a new tray."

"Maybe she was confused," Arthur said. "The kitchens have been a mess this week trying to get everything prepared for Samhain."

Merlin nodded his head but he didn't look convinced. There was something remote and absent in his eyes, that scared Arthur, like his body belonged to someone else. There was more. Something he wasn't telling Arthur.

"Are you sure you're ready to come back to work?" Arthur asked as he studied Merlin noticing he looked gaunter, older since last Arthur had seen him.

"Yes," Merlin said. "Two months of bed rest, I'm climbing up the walls for something to do. I feel so - useless."

"You could never be that," Arthur said.

Merlin smiled vaguely but as soon as he thought Arthur was absorbed with pouring his coffee from the pot that worried look returned to his eyes. "I'm sure there is nothing to worry about," Arthur said as he bumped his hand against Merlin's reassuringly. "The cook made a mistake."

Merlin looked like he was mustering up the courage to say something, he had half opened his mouth, when there was a sharp rap at the door.

Arthur felt a warble of irritation as he watched Merlin busy himself with making the bed as the door opened and Leon entered. "Arthur, Percival is outside he is insisting on speaking with you," Leon said.

"What about?" Arthur asked.

"The pigs, he brought from Quimper yesterday, they're dead."

"Dead!" Arthur exclaimed.

"How can that be I walked past them on my here, not forty-five minutes ago, and they were fine," Merlin said. A pale flush warmed Leon's cheeks but otherwise, he ignored Merlin. "What should I tell him, Arthur?" Leon asked.

"Tell him, I will be down as soon as I have dressed," Arthur said. "Oh, and Leon, you should probably send for a local physician to examine the pigs since we can't expect Gaius back until late next week."

"Right," Leon said with a stiff nod as he left. Arthur sat down, pinching the bridge of his nose anxiously. "What was that?" Merlin asked.

Arthur looked down at the table, feeling a heat bloom across the back of his neck. "Leon and I are in a fight," he said.

"Really, what about?" Merlin asked, sounding surprised. He wasn't the only one either. Arthur and Leon had been fast friends since childhood and everyone had noticed the sudden rift between them with unceasing curiosity and probing question. Yet Arthur found he didn't mind Merlin asking.

"You, actually," Arthur said mixing a spoonful of honey into his porridge.

"When did this happen?" Merlin asked.

"After we were separated, when we thought you were -"

"- dead," Merlin said.

"Yes, well," Arthur said clearing his throat. "Leon and I had a disagreement, it will blow over, he's just sore."

"What does he have to be sore about?"

"He's frustrated with me, he doesn't think it's decent to worry about your servant," Arthur said. The barest hint of a smile climbed up the sides of Merlin's mouth and Arthur would have done anything to make it stay.

Percival was broad-shouldered and thickly muscled and tan. "Thank you for coming, my lord," he said his weathered face crinkling into a relieved smile as he meet Arthur and Merlin outside the pig pen.

"You are the new pig farmer at Quimper, am I right?" Arthur asked even though he knew the answer. Henry Melloy had run the pig farm at Quimper for close to thirty years before he had died. With no living sons to replace him his widow had sold the farm to Percival.

"Yes, I took over for the late mister Melloy this spring."

"How did you get into pig farming?" Arthur asked.

"My Father owns a pig farm in Nemeth. I grew up breeding pigs," Percival said.

"Won't your Father need your help with the farm or do you have older brothers?" Arthur asked.

"I had a brother, he died," Percival said his voice trembling. "My Father and I don't get on. Not since - "

"I apologize for asking," Arthur said quickly, abashed.

"No, you have a right to be curious about me," Percival said.

"Can you tell us what happened? Arthur asked.

"I can't explain it," Percival said gesturing helplessly toward the dead animals. "They were healthy last night, and then this morning I came out to feed them and - "

"You hadn't feed them yet?" Merlin asked.

Percival and Arthur turned to look at him. He coloured under there gaze and said, "Its just when I walked by this morning they were eating something."

"Do you think someone might have poisoned them?" Arthur asked.

"Its an idea," Merlin said looking more self-assured.

"The question is why?" Arthur said rubbing his thumb across his bottom lip. He looked to Percival who was considering the dead pigs. "Have you had any trouble since arriving in Camelot? Is there anyone who might be angry with you for any reason?" Arthur asked.

"No, nothing like that," Percival said.

Merlin suddenly stepped forward and bent over, just outside the gate, the colour rushing out his face as he picked something up.

"Merlin, you alright?" Arthur asked.

Merlin nodded slipping whatever it was into his pocket. "Yes," he chocked. "I think I need some fresh air." He turned and hurried off without another word. "I should check if he's alright," Arthur said to Percival before following after Merlin.

Arthur found Merlin two streets up, leaning against the side of a building, retching.

"Merlin," he said softly.

Merlin wiped the back of his hand across his mouth as he looked around at Arthur. There was something distrusting in his eyes. Like he wasn't sure he could trust Arthur with whatever was eating him up from the inside out.

"What are you doing here?" Merlin asked.

"I was worried about you," Arthur said.

Merlin coloured. "I'm fine," he said.

Arthur knew it would be highly unproductive to try and bully Merlin into talking before he was ready but he was tired. Tired of the distance. Lately, it felt like Merlin was burrowing down into himself, building up this wall between them. Arthur hated that wall. He wanted to tear it down with his bare hands.

"You're not," Arthur said. The words came out a little rougher than he had meant them to. Merlin flinched. Arthur's hands curled up tighter, tighter until the skin broke fresh. "Merlin, you know you can talk to me," Arthur said careful to keep his voice soft. "You shouldn't push your friends away not if you need them."

Merlin shook his head. His whole body swaying. Arthur's skin crawled with how sick Merlin looked. He was too thin. His skin like tissue paper against his bones.

"I'm really tired, Arthur," he said sinking into the building. "Is it alright if I lie down for a bit," he asked. Arthur felt his heart deflate like a balloon. It was the worst feeling in the world to know someone you care about is hurting. To know they won't let you help.

"Of course," he said feeling sick as he watched Merlin walk away.


End file.
